ever wonder...

ever wonder why with so many international organizations helping fight world hunger, aids, poverty, human rights abuses, etc. so many of those issues not only still exist, but seem to be growing?

ever wonder why when the standard of living is growing at rates that are beyond amazing in the elite developed world, we somehow can't manage to provide basic sustenance to the underprivileged of the world?

ever wonder why a world so obsessed with peace and equality is creating more INequality?

ever wonder why technological advances meant to help the world seem to be causing more damage than good?

ever wonder when this culture of competition, selfishness and vanity will subside?

I do.

maybe it's just me...

somewhere between adventure and possibilities i became a pessimist...

and I don't like it....

Even with the amazing places I've been, the incredible people I've met and all the stories that came along the way, something is missing. This something is like a gaping hole in the core of my existence. It's a vast empty space that nothing seems to be able to fill. I'm gasping for breath, trying to hold on but there's no air.

The last 15 months have provided more self discovery than the first 20 years of my life, but instead of making things clearer I now walk blindfolded. I feel like a caged animal, starving, broken, lifeless...but worst of all confused. My snowglobe of a world has been shaken so hard barely any pieces remain intact. Whatever I look for eludes me, leaves me painfully waiting until...I don't know what...

But on the outside, the wall goes up. With all that I have, how can I not be grateful?? And yet I can't seem to think of anything other than what could be on the other side.

The corn is getting to my head...I need to get out of here...